there's something sacred about the body, my body, even, for all that it plagues me - what an excruciating love-hate duality... supposedly sub-psychoactive doses of antihistamine ephedrine and dissociative cough suppressant knocking down a cold tonight, among other things - a far cry from what i used to inflict on my body - can't imagine where it would be today if i'd kept on that regimen - where we'd be... it gives me such pain and pleasure - a cage? inseparable from my mind? i dunno - it let me know, i guess, it couldn't take the recreational medication anymore - it let me know in a sneaky way, because the physical symptoms weren't enough, it let me know through my mind, it shut off the dopamine circuits
a tragedy about this new younger brother album though, "vaccine", it's so fucking great, except the vocals are horrible - oh my god, if i could just edit out the vocals - i guess this is what people like these days - no it doesn't sound like nick drake, nick drake doesn't make me want to smash things - this guy does, because it's so annoying and omnipresent it destroys every track - so sensitive... oh so sensitive, like a simulacrum of soul - so sensitive i want to numb it to oblivion through repeated blows to the head with blunt objects - shut up you stupid vocalist! oh why oh why is the music so good and the voice so bad? why can't they get that guy out of there? cause it's such perfect mood music for right now
i'm glad i'm not up on the trends, or in lockstep with the random history walk that says everything must sound like this now - a little scrap of pride not to be influenced by every damned thing
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