it needs more than just a readjustment...

and let's face it, matt damon's kinda pudgy in this film, and emily has a horse face. not sarah jessica parker horseface, but close.

The Adjustment Bureau was actually based on a short story called The Adjustment Team by a man
named, no kidding, Phillip K. Dick. Let’s be honest here, The Adjustment Team? I figured I’d start this
review on a positive note: at least they changed the name.

No, the problems I have with usually desperate attempts to turn a short story into a full-length feature
film are just as relevant to the Adjustment Bureau as they are to any other movie. There’s a lot of
tell and not enough show, which usually leaves everything feeling pretty flat. Shallow story, shallow
characters and shallow plot: all trying to tell you how deep they are. Hence, the ending with a nice
glossed-over moralization to tie up the entire point of the movie.

Although I have to say congratulations, Universal, you finally got Matt Damon to play leading man in a
chick flick, because that’s what The Adjustment Bureau is. It’s a cute little love story that the production
companies stuck the tags of “action, thriller and suspense” to so that your average unsuspecting guy can
drag his wife, girlfriend, or even mother (though, watch out, Emily Blunt drops an F-bomb, and let’s face
it, your mother suggested you go see a movie to get you out of the basement and off the internet to
avoid girls like that in the first place) and out to see a Matt Damon flick with the end result of both guy
and girl leaving the theater disappointed.

I suppose I should offer you a premise of sorts? The ambitious, young, charismatic David Norris (Matt
Damon,) a man ready and waiting to win the race for a New York senate seat, meets Elise (Emily Blunt)
in the stall of what he’d assumed was an empty hotel men’s room as he’s practicing his concession
speech and she drops her keys. They start kissing when she says she wishes he’d worn a clip-on tie, and
confesses to being at the hotel, and hiding in the stall, for crashing a wedding. As she is chased off by
security, he realizes she must be a deep, intense, genuine person and decides to ad-lib his concession
speech which turns out to be a rousing success. Coincidentally, because of an… agent… who was asleep
at the proverbial wheel, David runs into Elise again, and apparently they aren’t supposed to be together;
hence all the running for the rest of the movie that you saw in the trailers.

If you go into this film expecting Jason Bourne meets Inception, you’ll be thoroughly disappointed. Now,
I confess I would pay money to watch Matt Damon sit and read legal filings for two hours, but most
dudes might not feel that way. Matt Damon’s character Linus, from the Ocean’s [insert numeral here]
movies, sees more wild and crazy action than this David Norris. The best we get in The Adjustment
Bureau is a few punches and a couple dudes thrown over tables. Stairs, doors, more stairs, more doors,
Men With Hats and a trite little “You are the maker of your own destiny” fortune at the end of this
disappointing cookie.

As for the love story? I’m sorry, but I miss Minnie Driver. Overall, I give The Adjustment Bureau… hang
on, let me check my pockets… two stale Smarties, half a stick of gum and $5.


  1. lmao - i'd pay money to avoid having to see matt damon, even in my peripheral vision - but your review was free and hilarious, thanks!

  2. well i don't give a fig about either of them, not even pk dick's name would get me to go after reading this.